Index
All eight issues
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- 01Mercury Mercury runs hot and cold and doesn't care what you pack It's got a huge metal core, it whips around the Sun in a hurry and it swings from roasting days to freezing nights, so good luck with that.
- 02Venus Venus comes close, and you should not answer the door It swings in closer than you'd like, most of its ground is volcanic flow and it crosses the Sun on a schedule you'll probably miss, which, fine, none of that was for you anyway.
- 03Earth Earth, the floor you've been standing on this whole time Gravity dragged a mess of gas and dust together and made your floor, it came with air that's mostly nitrogen and oxygen that glows green way up high, and you still only notice it when something breaks.
- 04Mars Mars: how it kills you and who wants to take us there Cold enough to kill you, and still everyone wants to go: its moons, its giant basin and the 1965 probe that flew past.
- 05Jupiter Jupiter spins like crazy and has never done a thing for you It turns more than twice as fast as Earth, which is a lot for something you can't even stand on, and down under the water clouds its belts and zones turn into something else, not that you'd ever get to see it.
- 06Saturn Saturn wears a hexagon and you only ever drew the rings Its day is over quicker than a double shift, it wears a hexagon-shaped jet stream on its north pole and it's got that ring system everybody draws, and it has no idea it's on your lunchbox.
- 07Uranus Go ahead, make the joke. Uranus is lying on its side anyway Its equator sits almost straight up and down against its orbit, one moon has a big mountain on it, most of its mass is hot dense fluid, and it has heard every joke you've got.
- 08Neptune Neptune is cold, far away and not taking visitors It's colder than anything you've ever complained about, its magnetic field sits tipped way over, it's got a moon called Triton, it once showed us a Great Dark Spot, and nobody's planning to go back.
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Images: NASA/JPL